What is it about single women in their late twenties and thirties and beyond today, when it comes to dating and finding a man? Its almost as if every previous life experience and confidence we have ever had in relation to boys and men, until now has been erased; and in its place an almost crazy desperation has taken hold.

I can recount countless, single friends of late who lament that there are no good men left, that all the men left are looking for only younger versions of themselves and that they will have to take and settle for whatever they can get, for fear of ending up alone, barren and looking after multiple cats.

Women who are worried that their looks are fading, that those gentle lines developing around their eyes and lips are somehow going to exclude them from the top shelf men that they had held out for in their early twenties.

I constantly hear of women telling me that their eggs are shrivelling and drying out faster than the Sahara desert after a 90 day drought and if they don't nail down a donor soon; they will be barren and lonely for the rest of their lives. Men are so scarce one thinks, that the man who pours their morning non-fat latte, because he is complimentary on our outfit or hair is now considered a catch.

The reality is that there are enough men out there, enough top shelf men. We do not have to settle for the man who spits when he talks or the man that seems to have mistakenly left his wallet at home on the first date.

It is highly improbable that you will end up alone and childless (unless that is your choice.) In our early twenties its vitally important to find our own way, to finish our schooling and focus on early career development and to develop a strong sense of who we are and what we want. I think this is a natural progression in life and one that should be cherished.

All of a sudden, however, our confidence on finding the perfect mate starts to wane and then the proverbial biological clock starts ticking, which naturally happens around our early to mid thirties, and a sense of panic starts to sink in and permeate our everyday lives.

It is at this time that we need to step back, calm down and re-establish what it is that is truly important to us and to find out what it is we really want in a mate. It is also a time to put ourselves out into the strange and complicated world of dating (full force) and to unapologetically set ourselves up for dating success.

For many of us women, moderate school and business success has allowed us some financial freedom (save crippling student loan paybacks) and independance coupled with a feeling that we can accomplish anything we set out to do.

So when it comes to dating; we feel that that if we can't control our dating experiences as we have everything else in our life; that we have failed. Nothing could be further from the truth.

So if there is available, good and solid men out there; how come we can't seem to find them? The answer, in short, is that most women are reluctant to put themselves out into situations that can lead them to "mating success" because they are scared of rejection or have an "aura of desperation" that I swear a man can smell a mile away.

Here are some tips on putting yourself out there, without that "sensation" of desperation.

1.) When at a bar or night club, surround yourself with friends, but make sure your body language and dress is appropriate.

Do not wear clothing that shows off your belly button and bosom at the same time. Nothing says 'desperate or sad' like a women with too much make up on and/or wearing too little of clothing. Dress appropriate and sexually casual and you will have a better chance of success.

When with friends, stand side by side in a bar, do not stand in a circle. This allows a man to enter "your circle" without feeling like he is interupting and makes you seem more approachable.

2.) Smile. Smile like you are having the time of your life. Studies have shown that a person who smiles and looks like they are having a good time is more approachable. So plaster that smile on your face; do not judge how other women are dressed or look, or if a man that isn't up to your standards will pursue you, instead pretend that everyone is and could be your best friend (women and men included) and genuinely try and have a good time.

3.) Strike a conversation with everyone, wherever you are. Men or women, whether you are in a grocery store line up, online on a dating site or in a bar, sporting event or wherever. Social people meet people; period.

4.) If a man strikes up a conversation with you and you are not interested, in a bar or wherever, be polite. He may not be your soul mate, but he might know your future soul mate. Always go out with the feeling that you might make a friend and you might just meet someone who could introduce you to the love of your life.

5.) Say yes to new experiences. Putting yourself into new experiences allows you to broaden your friendship base and meet men who have similiar goals and ambitions.

6.) Put yourself online. However, only use dating sites where the man has to pay to talk to you. Do not speak or type to a man first or try to find the man of your dreams online. Put your credit card away.

Make a man pay to find you on the site and then pay to talk to you. This means he has invested some money and time to find you and to pay to talk to you. You are worth it. If he does not interest you, after a couple of times "speaking" or writing with you online, let him know and then move on.

I know this sounds archaic, but in my opinion, when a man makes the first move, it works out better. I know I will get mail on this, but trust me!

Always remember that you are a prize, that you won't be alone long term and that the best thing you can do for yourself is surround yourself with as many opportunities to meet eligable men as possible.

The man of your dreams is around the corner. It may not feel like it right now, but trust me, it will happen.

-Amber